LAKEWOOD, CO—Unable to offer any reasonable explanation for the occurrence, multiple sources within Friendship Church reported that their worship band mystically appeared on the church stage at the conclusion of their pastor’s “very brief” post-sermon prayer Sunday morning.
“Pastor Dave wrapped up his sermon and asked us all to bow our heads, and we all prayed together,” Dominic Haynes, a member of the church, confirmed to reporters. “Pastor said ‘amen’ and I looked up, and the entire worship band was already on the stage—like they had been magically transferred from wherever they were before, in an instant. Like they somehow teleported.”
“It was definitely supernatural,” echoed Olivia Rich, adding that there’s no way the worship team walked up there while everyone was praying, because they surely would have made some sort of noise or disturbance in doing so. “I was in the second row and I heard absolutely nothing but Pastor Dave praying—and then they were all up there, instruments in hand, ready to launch straight into ‘How He Loves’ in the blink of an eye.'”
“They just—poof—appeared,” she added.
Reporters caught up to worship leader Zack Martinez, hoping for an explanation, but when they began pressing him about his team’s apparent telekinetic abilities, he vanished into thin air.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.