AMERICAN FORK, UT - Kyrsten Blyrsten, a local mom and recovering shiplap addict, reportedly began wondering if she might be transgender after she drove around town to run errands without incident.
Suspicions that she may actually be a man trapped in a woman's body began to well up inside her after she parked her minivan at Target without having to leave a note on the windshield of the vehicle next to her.
Later, according to sources, she parallel-parked perfectly the very first time, without even scuffing her car wheels on the curb. "Am I a misgendered man?" wondered Mrs. Blyrsten as she changed lanes on the interstate without checking her blindspot the usual 17 times.
"Have I been living a lie?" She tearfully asked herself after not leaving her turning signal on for seven miles.
Her concerns were put to rest, however, when she arrived home and her husband patiently pointed out the severed gas pump nozzle hanging from her gas tank.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: