Finance Politics
Woman Donates Last Dollar To Warren Campaign In Final Bad Financial Decision

PORTSMOUTH, NH—Kymberly Brady, whose bank account was completely empty, realized she only had one dollar left in her wallet when she was at an Elizabeth Warren campaign event. “But I was just so inspired by her words,” said Brady, who often made rash decisions based on emotion. “I really felt like she could get rid of my debt and turn everything around for me.” Thus she made her last bad financial decision, which left her completely broke, by donating that dollar to Elizabeth Warren.

Brady is yet another victim of the great but not super-duper extra great economy and especially of her own decisions, picking up a ton of student debt in a major for which there aren’t any jobs. She has barely managed to subsist after college thanks to her low pay and also thanks to living in a place that is well out of her price range and constantly indulging in things like $30 avocado toast delivered through GrubHub because she “deserved it.” All of this has now culminated in her final dollar ending up in the failing presidential campaign of Elizabeth Warren to support Warren’s completely unworkable plans that would never pass Congress in the extremely unlikely event that Warren ever became president.

Warren seemed surprised by the dollar. “That’s all you have?” Warren said before snatching it. Brady then tried to hug Warren, but Warren’s handlers yelled, “No touching!”

“I really feel like things are going to turn around now,” said Brady after the event, though she then realized she had no way to get home. Eventually, she decided she could just put Uber on a credit card.

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