Woke Christian Asks Jesus To Return All The Shame He Took Away

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Sources are reporting a concerning shortage of shame in the days leading up to a scheduled “lament for racial justice” event at Spirit Justice Awareness in the City Church in Philadelphia. Christians who attend the church are praying for God to return at least some of the shame he took from them at the point of salvation so they can lament appropriately at the upcoming event. 

“I have so much to feel shame for,” said Mavra Frudwrinkles, a local member of the church. “I’m white, I live in a system of white supremacy, I have been guilty of being colorblind, I benefit from privilege, the list goes on,” she lamented while crying a single tear. “Why did I let God take away my guilt and shame when guilt and shame are so necessary to achieve racial utopia and class equity according to my pastor?” 

Frudwrinkles then bowed her head and prayed: “Please God, please stop contributing to this invisible system of oppression and give me my shame back so I can start to deal with my internalized racism and white fragility.” 

Frudwrinkles then presented herself to the Sociology Pastor at Spirit Justice Church as "washed anew" in appropriate shame. After a brief discussion with the Dismantling Systems Pastor and the Creating Spaces Pastor, it has been decided that Frudwrinkles can now attend this Sunday’s lament.

Sources say the church’s worship pastor is re-writing all his old lyrics to incorporate shame back into his songs. He has repented for removing it in the first place.

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