Hello wives, did you find a spider in your home? Do you know whether it's poisonous and deadly?
Read on to find out about all the different types of spiders and when you should worry:
The Black Widow spider. They are very dangerous. You must make every effort to avoid and eradicate.
This is probably another Black Widow. Stay clear.
A Black Widow spider. You can tell by the markings.
Another dangerous Black Widow.
Again, this is a Black Widow. This could kill you instantly in one bite.
Yep, another Black Widow.
Black Widow spider again. Stay away!
Definitely a Black Widow.
This is another Black Widow spider. Kill it with fire if you want to survive.
This last example is a Black Widow. Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Well, there you have it, wives: The definitive guide to spiders from the experts at The Babylon Bee. Now you know that you are dealing with a Black Widow spider and you must burn the entire house down if you see one to protect your loved ones.
The Founding Fathers didn't always agree behind closed doors.
