MURRIETA, CA - Local wife Amy Walkwell has stocked up on her makeup and beauty supplies once again at her local Ulta store, informing her husband that she had to spend hundreds of dollars right now because the current Ulta sale only happens once a year, 17 times a year. The 17-times-in-a-year opportunity doesn't come every day, she argued, pointing out that if she didn't buy her eyeliner, mascara, and whatever the one for the face skin is, she'd have to wait until roughly three weeks from now for the next sale. "We're saving a ton of money here, and I'll miss out if I don't pick this up now," she said as he dropped her off in front of the store and went to go find a parking spot, where he'd be sitting in his car for roughly an hour. "Really, we're making money if you think about it. Because if I bought it during any of the 42 days of the year where Ulta isn't having a sale, I'd have spent at least 20% more."
Michael Simmons' doctor tells him he's obese and needs to lose some weight - but the patient has the perfect comeback: he's pregnant!