Who Should Be The Next James Bond?

Denis Villeneuve, director of the Dune films, has been tapped to helm the next film in the long-running James Bond film series. But who will play Ian Fleming's master spy? Sources have said auditions are well underway, and some clear frontrunners are already under consideration.

The Babylon Bee has obtained the following short list of candidates to be the next 007:

Pedro Pascal: Unfortunately for him, producers are adamant that he shave his wispy mustache.
Timothée Chalamet: With the debate ongoing about having a female Bond, this choice would be a fair compromise.
Idris Elba: This would be a historic choice, as he would be the first James Bond played by a man from Hackney, London.
Ketanji Brown Jackson: Honestly, she's more qualified to be James Bond than she is to be a Supreme Court Justice.
Zendaya: No candidate checks more of the intersectional boxes.
Shohei Ohtani: He can hit, he can pitch, and now he can play 007.
George Takei: Oh my!
The Babylon Bee's Travis: Don't worry, he'll get in shape just like Chris Pratt did.
Jack Black: Any controversy will disappear during the first-ever James Bond song-and-dance number.
Rachel Zegler: The studio is counting on her to reinvigorate the Bond franchise just like she did for Snow White.
Daniel Craig's son, Bob Craig: He was born to play this role.
Air Bud: There's nothing in the rules that says a dog can't be James Bond.
Jeb!: There's no better way for the heir to the Bush political empire to step back onto the world stage.
Andy Serkis in a motion capture suit: His likeness will be replaced with that of Sir Sean Connery, but the voice will be provided by Chris Pratt.
A Corporate Memphis Style illustration of a one-legged nonbinary muslim: Also played by Andy Serkis. He's so versatile!