MIDDLETON, WI - Announcing their new arrivals of dolls for little girls to play with, American Girl™ unveiled a special new feature that comes with every white doll: A fun book describing how terrible they are.
"Hi friend, I'm Joss™. I love animals, going on adventures, being born into the oppressive white race that embraces systemic oppression to maintain its grip on all institutional power structures, and playing dress-up," reads the first page of the book that ships with this season's most popular American Girl™ Doll, Joss™.
The book includes pages of fun facts that will feed the imaginations of young girls. Below are just a few facts that really make Joss™ come to life:
- Her best friend Makena™ is black, therefore a pawn in Joss's™ scheme to not appear as racist as she really is.
- Her dad owns a restaurant, and works hard every day to overwork and underpay minorities of all races.
- Her favorite dress - sold separately - looks strikingly similar to that of slave-owning Scarlet in Gone With The Wind.
- She prefers Chick-fil-A™ to Popeye's™.
American Girl™ will soon unveil a line of Asian American dolls, which will come with books explaining why Asians are white-adjacent and therefore part of the problem.
This freshman had a bright future ahead of her, but then her parents spent $250K to send her to a public university.
