Weird: Epstein Suicide Note Printed On Hillary Clinton's Personal Stationery

Crime · May 7, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Weird: Epstein Suicide Note Printed On Hillary Clinton's Personal Stationery

U.S. — A federal judge ordered the release of Jeffrey Epstein's purported suicide note, which oddly appears to have been written on Hillary Clinton's personal stationery.

According to sources close to the investigation, the stationery was discovered neatly folded on Epstein's bed and prominently featured Clinton's official State Department letterhead, complete with embossed seal and matching monogram.

"It's the darndest thing," said FBI Agent Tom Halleck. "There's just no telling how Epstein could have gotten a hold of Ms. Clinton's stationery. Why did he choose that particular piece of paper for recording his final thoughts? Quite the riddle we have on our hands."

A review of the letter indicates that Epstein wrote he was definitely going to kill himself and assured readers that no one strangled him. "Well, at least this confirms it was a suicide and that there was no foul play," said investigator Bradley Harmon. "Luckily, Epstein himself ruled out anyone else coming in and choking him to death. We can at least put that theory to rest."

At publishing time, a photograph had been released of the pen that Epstein used to write his note, which strangely enough appeared to be a personalized pen from the Hillary Clinton Presidential campaign.

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