California Threatens To Send More Of Its Citizens To Other States If They Don't Give In To Its Demands

U.S. · May 7, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: California Threatens To Send More Of Its Citizens To Other States If They Don't Give In To Its Demands

SACRAMENTO, CA — Gavin Newsom, while hiding in a cave in the Sierra Nevada, has released a new video threatening to send more Californians to red states if his demands aren't met.

"You will suffer as we have suffered," Newsom says to the camera. "The same people who voted for me and others worse than me will now be voting in your elections. This I swear if you do not do as I say!"

Newsom then detailed a list of demands, such as not stealing businesses from California, giving more money so they can finish their high-speed rail in 50 years, and not making them look bad with competent government.

Republican governors are taking the threat seriously. "He's a madman. He might do it," said Governor Greg Abbott of Texas. "We can't give in to his demands, though."

"Our states may be well run and growing," said Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida, "but we still can't survive an attack of this magnitude of having to deal with Californians."

At publishing time, President Donald Trump had said there was little he could do. "I only have authority over America," he said. "I'm not sure that applies to California anymore."


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