WASHINGTON, DC—They tried to warn us, but we didn't listen. Only one day after the confirmation of far far-right conservative Catholic justice Amy Coney Barrett, the Supreme Court held a special session to strike down all laws that allow people to vote for Joe Biden for president.
In the landmark 6-3 decision in which the 6 aggressive far-right-wing justices ganged up on the innocent progressive justices, it was determined that every constitutional amendment prohibits voting for the Democratic candidate.
According to secret anonymous sources, ACB was overheard saying to a friend: "Yeah, it's unconstitutional to vote for Joe Biden, mainly because he's a commie. Also, the constitution doesn't mention the name 'Joe Biden' anywhere which means he's not eligible to become president because I'm an originalist and that's totally how originalism works." According to the unnamed sources, she then turned to a colleague and said, "I hate women!"
Brave resistance fighters from across the country have descended on the capitol to demand their right to vote for Joe Biden. "This is a dark day," said one protestor.
Democrat lawmakers are vowing to fight this Supreme Court ruling by packing the court with more judges who will then make it illegal to vote for Republicans.