Theology
Trump Says Those Empty Seats At His Rally Were Actually Reserved For Jesus

TULSA, OK—Many voices on social media criticized President Trump's rally for a weak turnout, though many tickets were reserved online ahead of the event.

But the president has revealed that the seats were left empty on purpose, as he was reserving them for Jesus.

"We wanted to save room for Jesus," he said at a press conference as Mike Pence stood by stoically. "We had to make sure the Jesus guy was there blessing the campaign with his tremendous blessings. Great blessings, some of the best." 

Trump then did what he does best and started talking at length about a subject about which he does not know a lot.

"Tremendous guy, Jesus. Did a lot for Christianity. Almost as much as me. Everybody says so. He was the one who did the ark thing. It was in two or maybe three Timothy." Trump looked back to Pence for support, who shook his head. "Well, one of the Timothys anyway. Remarkable guy."

Pence later corrected Trump's theology, saying the seats were actually occupied by the Holy Spirit.

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