WASHINGTON, D.C.—A downcast, dejected Trump agreed to resign Monday morning after he saw the hashtag "#TrumpResignNow" trending on Twitter and other social networks.
"Welp, looks like I've got no choice," he said, a tear rolling down his smooth, sherbet-colored cheek. "Man, this is disappointing. I thought I was doing a great job. The best job, actually, many great people have told me. But I guess this is the end of the line for ol' Donny."
Opponents of Trump said they wish they would have thought of getting a hashtag trending sooner.
"If we had known all we had to do was tweet about it, we would have done this a lot earlier," said one Resistance activist and professional gerbil walker in New Hampshire. "To think, we've been screaming ourselves hoarse, organizing protests, and changing our profile pictures for nothing."
"All we had to do was get a hashtag going and we got our way. This is how life should be," she added.
Trump packed his stuff into a small office box and said goodbye to his coworkers before going on the "walk of shame" across the White House lawn, exiting through a guard gate. When asked what he plans on doing next, Trump said he would think about "going into real estate or maybe higher education."
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.