Trump, Palin, Ocasio-Cortez Face Off In Lowest-Scoring 'Celebrity Jeopardy!' Episode In History
Politics · Jan 16, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

U.S. - On a special Celebrity Jeopardy! event aired Wednesday night, President Donald Trump, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and former Alaska governor Sarah Palin broke all records for the lowest-scoring Jeopardy! game in history.

All three contestants quickly plummeted into the negative scores, each of them staying neck and neck for the lowest score throughout the game.

"This country lies south of Canada and north of Mexico," Trebek said calmly as Palin picked "Basic Geography" for $200 to kick off the game. 

The contestants furrowed their brows as time counted down before Ocasio-Cortez finally buzzed in. "Um, the electoral college? Steamboats? No, wait---Canada!" she said hesitantly.

A baffled Trebek shook his head. "No, I'm sorry---"

"Oh, sorry! Where is Canada?" Ocasio-Cortez interrupted. 

At this, Palin buzzed in. "It's in the Antarctic. Very cold!"

"Wrong!" Trump chimed in loudly before Trebek could stop the exchange. "So wrong! I am an expert in basic geology. I know lots of powerful people in basic geology. The correct answer is the Rocky Mountains---sorry, Who is the Rocky Mountains? Great song by Jim Denver. I'll take Basic Geology again for $400."

Palin then attempted to sing a few bars of "Rocky Mountain High" but was clearly confusing the song with "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus.

At one point, Trump attempted to bet $5.7 billion on a Daily Double question in order to make enough money to fund his wall but was informed by Trebek that since his current total was only $-9,600, he wouldn't be able to wager that much.

These hijinks continued for the length of the episode before all three were disqualified ahead of Final Jeopardy for being tens of thousands of dollars in the red.

After the episode aired, Republicans quickly praised Trump's brilliant strategy, while Democrats blamed Ocasio-Cortez's poor performance on systemic misogyny. Sarah Palin was offered a reality show covering her experiences.


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