TESERO — Venezuelan cross-country skier Nicolas Claveau-Laviolette was blown off the course on Thursday in what appeared to be a drone strike conducted by the United States military at the direct order of President Donald Trump.
Claveau-Laviolette, Venezuela's lone representative at the 2026 Winter Olympics, was seemingly vaporized, according to witnesses, and unable to finish competing in the Men's Sprint Classic. This marks the first time an Olympian was eliminated from an event due to a drone strike.
"Venezuela didn't have much of a chance this year, but it was good to see them send at least one person to the games," said sports commentator Fran Oliver. "It's just a shame he was taken out with an AGM-114 Hellfire missile fired by a U.S. MQ-9 Reaper before he could complete the course."
"What an explosive finish for Claveau-Laviolette," she added. "Wow!"
The Pentagon could not be reached for comment on the alleged military operation, and Claveau-Laviolette had no known ties to cartels. President Trump, however, alluded to something called Operation Spaghetti in the context of American superiority at the Olympics. "We're going to win so many medals, medals like you wouldn't believe," Trump reportedly said. "But only the good ones. Gold. We want gold medals."
At publishing time, a squad of Russian MiGs had reportedly taken out the Ukrainian bobsled team.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
