Trump Enacts Tariffs, Travel Ban On CHAZ

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump has announced a new set of tariffs and a travel ban on CHAZ, escalating the trade war between the United States and the fledgling nation-state.

"Effective immediately, no travel to or from the foreign country of Seattle," the president said at a press conference. "Additionally, a 25% tariff will be placed on all goods coming from CHAZ, once they start exporting things." The president will also be cutting all diplomatic ties with the communist nation, further increasing tensions.

The tariffs aren't expected to do much, however, as the only thing the people of CHAZ have been able to produce so far is a few beans in the community garden.

To enforce the travel ban, the president has ordered a wall built to protect the people of America from immigration from CHAZ. The wall will be "tremendous" and will have a moat and "maybe some sharks." All foreign aid will also be suspended effective immediately. 

The Pentagon even said there might be some oil underneath CHAZ, causing Congress to authorize the president to invade the foreign country and occupy it for the next 20 years.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There are 36 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.