MILWAUKEE, WI — As the Republican National Convention continued to dominate the country's attention in the wake of the attempted assassination of the former president, word began to make the rounds that Trump was disappointed that the nurse didn't give him the dinosaur bandage he wanted for his ear.
According to multiple sources, Trump specifically requested a dinosaur bandage for his wounded ear while being treated at the emergency room of Butler Memorial Hospital following the attempt on his life at a campaign rally Saturday evening but complained later on after being given a regular white dressing.
"Sad. Very sad. I asked for the T-rex," Trump reportedly murmured to members of his inner circle. "The dinosaur bandage would have been cool. Very cool. All the best people get dinosaur bandages. That's what they say. I wanted one. The nurse looked and said they were all out. This is the condition Joe Biden has left this country in. We're out of dinosaur bandages. A nation in decline. Sad!"
A source within the Butler Memorial Hospital ER confirmed the report. "Yes, it's true," the individual said under the condition of anonymity due to patient confidentiality rules. "President Trump was very adamant about getting a dinosaur bandage and was not at all happy when we told him we didn't have any. Started ranting about wanting to ‘Make Bandages Dinosaur Again' or something. It was a weird day."
At publishing time, Trump was reportedly also displeased about having to settle for a raspberry lollipop due to the ER not having any that were green apple.
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