NEW YORK, NY — In a last-ditch effort to avoid potentially spending the rest of his life behind bars, Senator Bob Menendez asked the judge presiding over his trial how many gold bars it would take to make his bribery conviction disappear.

Convicted on all counts related to charges of bribery, conspiracy, extortion, and other crimes, Menendez faced the possibility of receiving a heavy prison sentence, leading him to try to make the judge an offer Menendez hoped would be impossible to refuse.

"I'm sure we can make a deal that helps us both," Menendez reportedly told the judge. "Speaking hypothetically… just to satisfy my own curiosity… how much would you say it would take to make this whole bribery thing go away? I just happen to know of some Egyptian gold bars that may need a good home. What do you say, Judge?"

Though the judge's response to the offer was not known, Menendez denied accusations that he had tried to bribe his way out of facing consequences for being found guilty of bribery. "It just simply isn't true," Menendez said when questioned about the report. "As I said shortly before I was convicted of bribery, I'm not guilty of bribery. I don't make bribes. If anyone has any questions about my honesty, I would be happy to have a private conversation with you to make your uncertainty… disappear. I'm sure some kind of a deal can be made."

At publishing time, Senator Menendez had reportedly asked Chuck Schumer if a few gold bars would change his mind about letting him remain in the Senate.

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