U.S. - Sad! Not good! Your kids were playing at the park, and you were having a nice time just sitting there on your smartphone. Everything was going great. But then your kid started getting a little chummy with the other children at the playground, and the next thing you knew, you were forced to make small talk with some parents so they would know you're not some weirdo.

Very unfortunate! Total disaster!

"How old is he?" one of the mothers at the park asked, forcing you to resign yourself to the fact that you would be making small talk with her for the next hour. "Aiden is five. He'll be six in July." 

You frantically tried to remember your child's name and age and just barely managed to pull it off. You chuckled at the appropriate moments and managed to navigate your way through the awkward social situation, periodically punctuating your conversation with "Are you playing nice, buddy?" and "Make sure to share!"

You tried calling out, "Are you ready to go yet, sport?" but to no avail. You attempted looking at your smartphone and even faked a phone call, but you still kept getting roped into the conversation.

At publishing time, you had been at the park making pleasant small talk for over seventeen hours and had resigned yourself to asking God to send a meteor in your direction.