MEDINA, WA—Well, this is disappointing: Bill Gates had discovered a cure for coronavirus, but the hard drive he had it saved on was wiped out by a Windows virus.
"I've got it!" he'd cried in the early morning hours on Sunday. "Hey Melinda -- I've figured out how to eradicate this nasty virus! Everyone mocked me for commenting on the virus while not even being a medical expert, but ha! I'll show them yet!"
But just then, his monitor suddenly displayed a blue screen. A virus had infected his Windows 10 machine and crashed the whole thing, wiping out everything on his hard drive. Microsoft OneDrive would have backed it up, but Gates had kept dismissing the annoying message that popped up every few minutes on his computer, reminding him to set up his OneDrive account. The loophole this particular virus exploits had been closed in a recent Windows 10 update, but again, Gates kept putting off the update because the messages bugged him.
"You know, it's kind of funny, in the end," an introspective Gates said as he stared out the window at his 220 acres of land. "I tried to cure the virus, but a virus got me in the end."
Gates was last seen trying to sneak an Apple computer into his house.