Top 10 Animals Noah Should Have Yeeted Off The Ark
Scripture · Sep 3, 2021 ·

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Noah was a pretty cool dude, saving humanity because he trusted in God and all that. But he did make a few errors in that there are some animals he definitely should have yeeted overboard. Here are the top ten animals Noah should have pushed off the boat.

1. Geese - We're starting with the obvious ones.

2. Tarantula hawks - These guys will paralyze a tarantula, drag it back to their evil lair, lay an egg on it, drill a hole inside the spider, and then have their larva EAT THE INSIDE OF THE TARANTULA FOR WEEKS WHILE IT IS STILL ALIVE. On second thought, that's pretty punk rock. The tarantula hawks can stay.

3. Pomeranians - No-good Pomeranians going around yipping and thinking they're better than everyone.

4. Cats, all of 'em - This one's a no-brainer. Though Satan would probably have kept them alive anyway.

5. Bats - The pandemic could have been prevented, Noah!

6. Insane Clown Posse fans - The world would be a whole lot brighter of a place.

7. The skinny cows that produce skim milk - What is the point of these guys anyway?

8. Joe Biden - If Noah had just tossed Biden off the boat, we wouldn't be in this predicament.

9. Elephants - The future symbol of the Republican party full of hate and racism.

10. Squirrels - Finally, Noah should have tossed off the squirrels. They're definitely up to something.

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