FRANKLIN, TN—Local toddler Joseph Orozco was in tears yesterday as his parents forced him to take a bath. The toddler hadn't bathed since Tuesday of last week.
However, the toddler quickly walked back his anti-bath comments when it was time to get out of the tub, declaring that this was the best bath he had ever had and that any parent who tried to take him out of the bath was a hateful tyrant.
“I DON'T WANT TO TAKE A BATH!” he screamed as his mother began to fill the tub with crystal-clear water and beautiful pink bubbles. Joseph then ran off and hid in his bedroom closet where he always hides, making it super easy for his parents to find him. “STOP! NO! I DON'T LIKE YOU!” he yelled at his dad while hitting him in the face as the father struggled to slip him into the tub.
The little angel screamed for a whole minute before suddenly having a change of heart, realizing that this was the perfect bath, prepared by the perfect parents, in the most beautiful home one could ever imagine.
It only took his mother about five minutes to get him good and clean. “Okay, it's time for you to be all done in the tubby," said his mom. But little Joseph was not all done. “I DON'T WANT TO GET OUT OF THE BATH!” he screamed while he kicked, splashed, and squirmed in the tub. His parents tried to get him out for a full ten minutes while he tried to bite them, hypocritically going back on his previous anti-bath rhetoric.
The little three-year-old flip-flopper has similar changes of heart any time his parents try to get him to do anything at all, sources confirmed at publishing time.