DUCKBURG — Famed tycoon Scrooge McDuck has been long known for ostentatious displays of his hoarded wealth, including diving into a pool of gold coins. This week, however, reports emerged of the magnate demonstrating his wealth in a novel way: diving into a massive vault of eggs, driven to record prices by inflation.
"I needed to display my prosperity in a way the middle class could understand – and with the Bureau of Labor Statistics reporting the average price of a dozen eggs rising from $1.72 to $3.59 in just one year, this seemed like the perfect way!" McDuck spoke to local news outlets before turning around, adjusting his shower cap, and sliding his goggles down for a dive.
Estimates vary for the value of McDuck's wealth when converted to eggs, especially in light of the reported estimate that McDuck himself gave, of "One multiplujillion, nine obsquatumatillion, six hundred and twenty-three dollars and sixty-two cents." Viewers of the DUCK44 local news station's live stream seemed underwhelmed, with some saying "I thought he was supposed to be rich…that only looks like a few thousand eggs!"
Financial advisor Robert Ducksaki, author of "Rich Duck, Poor Duck," has historically been bullish on gold, but says eggs may soon outpace the historically stable bullion. "Buy GOLD? Not while eggs are soaring. Need growth and stability. President Joe Biduck's inflation? Stable. #RichDuck."
At publishing time, Scrooge McDuck had been forced to declare bankruptcy after his nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie ate his entire stash.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
