U.S.—In an attempt to cut out the middleman and not waste everyone's time, Democrats announced today that they will be taking part in the debates, but they will just have Trump debate Biden's teleprompter directly.
The move is expected to save a lot of time as there won't be long, rambling, unintelligible rants or completely incoherent sentences coming from the Democratic candidate.
The teleprompter will display all of Biden's handlers' carefully worded talking points. Trump will give his own points and respond to everything displayed on the screen, translated to audio via text-to-speech for the convenience of the debaters and the audience.
After the new information came to light, Republicans ran debate prep with the president, having him debate a mock-up of Biden's teleprompter.
"I'm Joe Biden, and I'm running for president," the teleprompter said in a robotic voice.
"What's this?" Trump said, confused. "Did Sleepy Joe lose weight? Look at this chump! Total pushover!"
"That hurt my feelings," the teleprompter said.
"THIS will hurt your feelings, dumb robot!" Trump replied, lunging over the desk and throttling the device.
Republicans are now considering sending their own teleprompter as well.