Despite the fact that Americans view at least 327 prescription drug ads per day, we don't seem to be very healthy! We at The Babylon Bee consulted our trusted panel of medical experts and Reddit to come up with some of the best home remedies for whatever ails you!
Tell Dr. Medicine to pack his bags with one of these fantastic natural treatments:
- Constipation: Ingest two Grilled Stuft Triple Gordita Doritos Crunchwrap Supremes from Taco Bell every four hours as needed. Instant cleanse.
- Nausea: Pray it away.
- Depression: Eat a burger. Yum!
- Obesity: PUT DOWN THAT BURGER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
- COVID: Close down the country and put millions out of business.
- Migraine: Stop watching She-Hulk.
- Gender Dysphoria: Stop watching She-Hulk.
- Restless leg syndrome: Visit a pentecostal church.
- Leg caught in wood-chipper: Lavender essential oil.
- Stroke: Run for Senate in Pennsylvania.
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An unhealthy gut microbiome can weaken immune function, damage your digestive tract, and cause brain fog.
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You can strengthen your gut microbiome by eating high-fiber foods, staying hydrated, exercising regularly, and taking Nouri's daily probiotics.
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Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.