KYIV - Legends tell of a heroic fighter ace patrolling the skies above Ukraine, single-handedly beating back Russian air power. Latest reports indicate he has shot down between 13 and 793 enemy aircraft since the Russian army invaded over a week ago.
Now, The Babylon Bee has obtained an exclusive, never-before-seen photo of the famous Ukrainian war hero known as the Ghost of Kyiv:
WOW! What a handsome fellow!
Eyewitnesses say they saw a "yuge" streak of orange light flashing across the night sky as Russian aircraft plummeted to the earth. The F-35 Lightning fighter jet - which was painted with the Chinese flag for some strange reason - buzzed over the crowd as the pilot waved to the photographer, who took this epic photograph. Amazing!
We think we speak for everyone in saying we can all sleep a little more soundly at night knowing this brave protector is looking down from above. What a brave hero!
UPDATE: Sadly, The Ghost of Kiev is also shooting down Ukrainian pilots after hearing they said bad things about him on Twitter.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: