JACKSONVILLE, FL—Tim Tebow took to his Instagram account Tuesday to remind everyone that he was the original kneeler and that he was doing it when it was still underground and not cool.
"Just a quick reminder that I was kneeling before it was cool," he posted to his Instagram account along with a picture of him kneeling in the NFL. "You're not a real kneeling fan unless you were doing it, like, a decade ago."
"Man, look at all these bandwagoners kneeling now that it's mainstream," he said as he sipped a craft pour-over coffee imported from a country you've probably never heard of. "I was doing it back before even the Kaepernick days." He then adjusted his glasses with no lenses. "It's really sad that so many sheeple only do things once it gets really popular. Psh."
At publishing time, he'd been one-upped by the prophet Daniel, who issued a statement from heaven reminding everyone he kneeled back when it got you thrown into the lion's den.