Fourth Grade Teacher Provides School Supply List That Mysteriously Includes Red Wine, Dark Chocolate
Life · Aug 8, 2019 · BabylonBee.com

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA - Parents of students in Ms. Kellerson's 4th-grade class at Fox Gully Elementary School have become concerned over the recent school supply list she sent home with new students. The list required 16 items be brought to school with the child or they may not attend classes.

The items on the list include things like crayons, whiteboard erasers, some "nice-smelling candles," and dark chocolate.

"How does she expect us to bring so much stuff?" parents complained in emails sent to the e-mail address provided on the hand-out. "Doesn't the school pay for anything?"

Ms. Kellerson's list read as follows:

Dear Parents, Please have your child bring the following supplies to schol as soon as possible, but no later than Friday, August 9, 2019:

-Thin Whiteboard Markers (Expo 3-4 Colors)
-Eraser For Whiteboard
-12 Gluesticks -Ticonderoga or Mate Pencils
-Pencil Tip Erasers
-12 Rolls of Scotch Tape
-Six Boxes Of Staples
-Those Sticky Notes With Cute Dog Pics
-Thin Highlighters (3-4 colors)
-Coconut Shea Butter Face Cream
-Some Nice Smelling Candles
-24 Count Crayola Crayons (No Rose Art Please)
-5x8 Pencil Box -1 two pocket folder
-Four Bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon (Mid to Top Shelf)
-Ten Dark Chocolate Bars (Godiva or Ghirardelli preferred, no Hershey's)

All of these items will be required for your student to begin class
If you have any questions please email me at [email protected]

Ms. Kellerson could not be reached for comment, but her e-mail did return the automated response, "While I have been extremely busy with preparations for a new school year, I may not be able to reply to e-mails in a timely manner. If this is about the school supply list, the items are non-negotiable. Please trust me. Also, please throw in a signed picture of Brad Pitt if possible."

 


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