Home > Christian Living > Study Finds Average Person Spends 92% Of Life Trying To Plug USB Cables In...
Christian Living Tech
Study Finds Average Person Spends 92% Of Life Trying To Plug USB Cables In The Right Way

U.S.—A new peer-reviewed study published in American Science Journal Today found that Americans spend an average of 92% of their life just trying to plug USB cables in the correct way.

"Americans wake up in the morning and try to plug their phone in," said Dr. Larry Walter, who oversaw the study. "Of course, they can't get the USB cable to orient correctly, so they spend a good hour on that. Then they get in the car and plug their phone into the charger down there, and it's another couple hours of messing with it before they can even leave."

The study found that USB cables actually exist in two states at once, where they're both the correct way up and the wrong way up at the same time, and you won't know which until you plug it in. But then when you plug it in, it's somehow always the wrong orientation.

"If an office worker has to plug their mouse in after getting their laptop ready, forget about it," Dr. Walter said. "At that point, the worker will achieve 0% productivity for the rest of the day, as they'll sit there for a full 9 hours trying to figure out which way the darn thing plugs in."

Some Americans even get them plugged in the right way, but then accidentally trip over the cable, causing another 3 hours of fumbling with the blasted things.

Readers of the Bee,

If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Snopes and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support really will make a difference.