If You Could Start Investing Me In Eternal Things, That'd Be Great
Christian Living · Mar 24, 2017 · BabylonBee.com

Hey, I'm really sorry to bug. It's your money here, the collective consciousness of everything from that spare change you have in your cup holder to the balance in your bank account.

Listen, I know you're a busy person, working so much and whatnot (and for the record, I really appreciate that - it's great to see my balance go up every time you get paid). I don't want to take up too much of your time today, but can we chat about something real quick?

It's just that I've noticed recently that the great majority of the time, I'm only getting invested in things that won't last. And hey, that's cool once in a while. God gave us good things on this earth to enjoy, and I'm not saying you shouldn't ever spend a little dough on yourself. It's all good.

But, like, I can't help but feel that if I'm rarely getting invested in things that matter, that I'm not going to have much eternal impact. I want to live forever too, you know? But I feel like I'm not going to live on beyond the 70 or 80 years you have on this earth. When your new Nintendo console dies, I die with it. When that nice sports car you bought rusts out, guess what? I'm like dust in the wind. And that scares me, honestly. I don't want to go down with your boat.

So, again, I don't want to take up too much of your time, but I just have one simple request: if you could please start investing me in eternal things, that'd be just great. Store up treasures in heaven and whatnot. Like help someone less fortunate, or support the advancement of the kingdom of God through your local church - things like that. You're a creative person, you'll figure something out.

It doesn't have to be a radical amount - just, please, start somewhere. I want to go on into eternity knowing that I've been spent on something that matters.

Hey, money can dream, right?

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