ATLANTA, GA — Rightful Governor of Georgia Stacey Abrams announced that she will succeed Elizabeth II as the Queen of England only moments after the announcement of the Queen's death.
"It is with a heavy heart that I accept my new responsibility as England's new Queen," said Abrams solemnly. "They say 'heavy is the head that wears the crown,' but my head was already heavy, so I'm used to it."
Members of Parliament and Prime Minister Liz Truss joined in celebrating Queen Elizabeth's life and the heralding of a new, more diverse royal family. "We always thought of Stacey Abrams as true royalty," said PM Truss. "It's high time for a woman of color to wear the crown of England."
With that, Parliament joined in a rousing chant of "YAAAASS QUEEN" and threw their powdered wigs in the air.
Queen Abrams' coronation is scheduled for next Tuesday.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: