U.S.—Popular sports and men’s magazine Sports Illustrated has released its long-awaited annual “Modest Attire” issue, sources confirmed Friday.
The yearly release features godly women in various states of conservative dress, and has always been the magazine’s best-selling issue each year.
“Men everywhere are swarming convenience stores and book shops trying to get their hands on this special release,” an SI rep told reporters. “Our exciting annual Modest Attire issue features the hottest Christian women, adorned with not outward ornaments, hair braids, gold jewelry, or fine clothing, but with godliness and good works.”
The magazine includes sections devoted to different seasonal wear for modest believing women, such as one-piece swimsuits underneath sweat pants and a loose, flowing top for the summer and floor-length dresses atop sneakers for the rest of the year.
“We even included how-to guides walking you through making your own dresses with long sleeves and high necks for total cleavage coverage,” a rep said.
In special “cover-all” interviews, modestly dressed Christian women also refuse to answer questions about the intimate details of their private lives throughout the issue, sources confirmed.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.