WASHINGTON, D.C. - A brave whistleblower from Facebook has come forward. Here in the United States on a work exchange program from Saudi Arabia, Facebook programmer Hillahammed Clintahamil claimed that social media needs to censor more free speech and promote only leftist ideas.
The media quickly fawned over the brave whistleblower for courageously speaking out about the social network's harmful policy of allowing people to freely socially network. Clintahamil's devastating revelations about Facebook include the claims that the social networking company hasn't banned all conservatives yet and also hasn't forced everyone to follow Joe Biden's page.
"Facebook letting people like Ben Shapiro say things is very bad, yes very bad, Allah be praised," Clintahamil said in front of a congressional hearing panel Friday. "Allah will smite those who continue to allow these right-wing people to speak freely. May Mark Zuckerberg see the light of the prophet Mohammed as Allah opens his eyes to the truth that the government must take over Facebook and force them to ban all conservatives."
Clintahamil then asked for a recess so he could pray facing Mecca, though strangely, he appeared to face Epstein's private island instead. Weird!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
