PARIS — According to reports, watching soccer is finally interesting as France descends into fiery chaos after a Morocco semi-final loss.
"Wow, now THIS is entertaining," said one viewer while watching a Morocco supporter beating up a French guy with a stale baguette while several others lit the Louvre on fire. "Look at all the fighting and explosions! Why can't soccer always be like this?"
Early reports indicate World Cup viewership is now at an all-time high as people around the world tune in to see massive, fiery street brawls. "Who knew watching soccer could be such an engaging experience?" said another viewer. "I've always wondered if a French guy could take a Moroccan in a sword fight on top of a burning car, and now I know!"
Authorities are urging everyone in the country to stop fighting and get back in their homes so everyone can resume watching 22 players run around a giant field doing nothing and scoring no goals for 2 hours. "Please! Show some respect for the beauty and dignity of this sport!" said Paris Police Prefecture Monsieur Bonjour Croissant before chucking a tear gas canister into the face of an angry Moroccan, much to the delight of millions of viewers.
At publishing time, the millions had prayed for a French loss in the finals so they could see some cool fights again.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
