Many on social media these days are talking about the trend of "Tradwives", a totally new concept where women marry, have kids, take care of those kids, love their husbands, and engage in traditional home-making tasks.
But is a tradwife right for you? Before you head on over to the wife store, be sure to consider these pros and cons:
Pro: When you marry her, she'll get a few chickens
Con: Within a year, you'll have way more than a few chickens
Pro: She has long, beautiful hair
Con: You have to clean the shower drains
Pro: Homemade sourdough bread every single day
Con: You now weigh 300 pounds
Pro: She homeschools, so your kids are always around you
Con: She homeschools, so your kids are ALWAYS around you
Pro: Cans her own vegetables
Con: Botulism
Pro: She's always barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen
Con: There's really no con to that, now that we think about it
Pro: She loves babies and farm animals
Con: Poop everywhere
Pro: She raises the kids herself and now they're all super intelligent and interesting people
Con: You seem kind of dull in comparison
Pro: Makes her own butter
Con: It takes FOREVER
Pro: Saves money with DIY projects
Con: You're actually the one doing them all
Pro: She believes in classical education and teaches your kids Latin
Con: Oh no! They just summoned a demon!
Pro: She's incredibly good with money
Con: All your money is in a friggin' envelope
Weigh each pro and con carefully, then go out and pick a wife - hurry, while supplies last!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
