WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development, the woman who wants everyone's money has been endorsed by the people who take everyone's money.
"Kamala gets it," said union leader John Marks of the Internal Revenue Service. "She wants your money, and we take your money. It's a match made in heaven."
The Harris Campaign has proudly accepted the endorsement, grateful to have the support of armed agents who steal things from people. "This endorsement really gets to the heart of Kamala's vision for America, which is taking people's money and anything else they may have," said campaign chair Julie Rodriguez. "Like, we really, really want your stuff. The IRS takes people's stuff. Isn't that amazing? We go together like cookies and cream."
According to sources, the union of IRS agents did consider both candidates, but decided against former President Trump because he let people keep their own money. "See, people have money, but we take it away. If they say no, we shoot them," explained Marks. "If people keep their own money, the system falls apart. Trump just doesn't seem to understand what this is all about."
At publishing time, the Harris campaign proudly announced they had also received endorsements from Venezuelan drug cartels, Big Pharma, human traffickers, and Hamas.
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