DALLAS, TX—Local man Dane Osler, who graduated seminary with a Master of Theology three years ago, recently reported that he is still waiting for his incredibly specific dissertation topic to come up in any casual conversation, sources confirmed Tuesday.
Osler’s dissertation was titled Interpretative Impropriety: Subversive Modes of Exegesis in Postexilic Literature.
At a recent party, the scholar engaged in dozens of different conversations, the riches of knowledge on the incredibly specific theological topic lurking in the corners of his mind, ready for an opportunity to be unleashed.
But Osler continued to be disappointed with the topics of conversation presented to him, as his friends and acquaintances only wanted to talk about topics that were relevant to their daily lives, according to sources.
“I can’t believe no one has asked me to explain the difference between exegetical modes in postexilic writings and the late Second Temple period yet,” the learned man muttered as he excused himself from yet another conversation that was “going nowhere.”
“Any second now, someone will ask me to exegete the subversive intentions of the author in the second chapter of Nehemiah,” he added as he refilled his plastic cup with orange pop.
At publishing time, Osler had begun looking into a doctorate degree, in hopes that whatever incredibly specific dissertation topic he invested years of his life into learning would pay dividends in his social life.