School Board Meetings Now Being Held In Football Stadiums To Accommodate All The Angry Parents

U.S.—Across the country, school board meetings are being moved from small city halls and school district conference rooms to massive football stadiums to accomodate all the parents screaming and shouting about CRT, masks in schools, mandatory vaccines, and mandated COVID tests.

"We're gonna need a bigger auditorium," said school board member Grayson Pauly (he/him), after yet another parent came up and "absolutely let him have it" over the district's ridiculous masking policies. "Yes, next please." A 457th parent then came up to yell at him. He sighed. "You know, I'm starting to wonder if we might be the baddies."

The school board then agreed to move to nearby Michigan Stadium, home of the Wolverines, for future hearings. The next meeting is expected to be attended by over 100,000 parents, all of whom are taking issue with the school district's handling of COVID and indoctrination of their kids into critical race theory. Should there be too many parents for the stadium to hold, they may be forced to hold the next meeting on the Great Plains.

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