ROME — After reviewing new historical evidence, scholars now believe the Apostle Paul used the handy map in the back of his Bible when deciding where to travel to next.
"It looks like Paul simply followed the little lines and arrows," said historian Dr. James Gray. "Luckily, the lines were color-coded for each of his missionary journeys so he could easily keep them straight."
Scholars believe the Apostle Paul initially had a Bible with text only, but was gifted a nice study Bible by his friend Barnabas. "It appears the study Bible that Paul received in Antioch really launched his missionary journeys," said Dr. Gray. "The map helpfully had Antioch labeled as the 'starting point', so Paul pretty quickly realized he was supposed to hit the road."
The Apostle Paul undertook several lengthy voyages to spread the Gospel of Christ, always keeping his handy study Bible in tow. "In addition to the map, Paul's Bible also contained several commentaries about the letters Paul wrote to various churches," said archaeologist Adrian Rojas. "Whenever he was pondering how to best communicate the message of Jesus, we believe he consulted these commentaries to get a feel for the cultural context he would be writing into. Plus, Paul could see different ways the letters could be read by comparing the King James Version to the New International Version."
Sources say Paul got a rude surprise after believing the drawings of a snake and a shipwreck were just doodles.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
