U.S. — In the wake of multiple incidents of assault and murder on buses and trains across the country, safety-conscious passengers said they were donning full suits of crusader armor to ride public transit.
The change was brought about by a rising number of public transit passengers who were hoping to continue reaching their destinations alive, as they concluded that putting on full medieval knight armor provided them with the protection they needed.
"This gives me peace of mind on the bus," said Jason Drummond through the narrow eye slit of his great helm. "I've seen all of the horrifying reports on the news and the videos on social media of people being attacked on buses and trains, so I knew I needed to do something to stay safe. That's when the light bulb came on — crusader armor!"
The owner of one popular crusader armor store said he had seen a noticeable spike in business over the last few weeks. "My armor is selling like hotcakes," said Don Appletree, owner and operator of Don's Medieval Armor Emporium. "We haven't had this much trouble keeping product in stock since the great Renaissance Fair craze of ‘89. Everyone's looking for some good chainmail, breastplates, helmets… the whole works. People just want that extra level of protection, ya know?"
Though more passengers were feeling secure under their armor, public transit officials did say that the added weight was causing complications. "Buses and trains don't move as quickly when everyone's wearing armor," said one operator. "But that's the trade-off when you go the crusader armor route."
At publishing time, a new study showed that citizens of large urban areas were also purchasing more catapults to drag along with them for self-defense.
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