WASHINGTON, D.C.—With President Trump now nominating his second justice to the Supreme Court, a lot of attention is being paid to the oldest Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Critics fear that if Trump replaces her, it would shift the court far to the right. She’s in fine health for now, though, according to the technicians that have frozen her in carbonite until the next term of the Supreme Court.
As Ginsburg was lowered into the carbonite freezing chamber, she bravely looked up at her fellow liberal justices, who said, “I love you.” She reportedly replied, “Huh?”
“People do not need to worry about Justice Ginsburg,” said law carbon-freezing technician Clint Simon. “While she is 85, she’s very fit for her age. Also, she’s now hibernating in a nearly indestructible metal shell.”
Ginsburg’s legal aides assured the press that carbonite-freezing is very common for someone her age and should keep her safe and perfectly preserved until she is needed again. As soon as there is another court session, they’ll unfreeze her, and after a brief bout of hibernation sickness, she’ll be back to hearing cases and delivering opinions.
“It’s a foolproof way to keep her safe and sound,” said legal aide Angela Patterson, though she did admit they had accidentally lost Ginsburg in a shipping error. They now know where she is, though — on display in the parlor of a crime lord — and say they will have her back by the next Supreme Court term in October.