U.S. - After making it to the 198th trimester, Roe V. Wade has been aborted. Conceived all the way back on January 22, 1973, Roe V. Wade has been struck down after a decision was passed down today by the Supreme Court.
6 out of the 9 Justices decided to terminate the longstanding federal law. According to Doctors who performed the procedure, "Roe V Wade did not feel a thing as it was ripped apart word by word, syllable from syllable as it was fed through the paper shredder."
According to sources, the Justices claimed court autonomy gave them the right to do whatever they wanted to do with this document even up to the moment of delivery. They claimed "Our Court Our Choice!" and ruled that it was their God-given right to take this fledgling, defenseless document that had barely begun its 198th trimester and terminate it on a whim.
Many pro-abortion activists have been immensely distraught and devastated by this action calling the decision "LITERALLY MURDER!" and that this is "not something the court alone can decide!". Christians have been quick to comfort those upset by this action by reminding them that Roe V. Wade was just a clump of words and it's really not even viable until the 199th trimester anyway.
At publishing time, Planned Parenthood had acquired the shredded remains of the precious document and was reportedly selling the scraps for money.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!