Politics
Progressives Call On African Americans To Quit Their Jobs To Avoid Being Used As A Trump Statistic

U.S.—Progressive activists across the country have begun calling on African Americans to quit their jobs in order to avoid being used as a Trump statistic.

White liberals generally like when minorities get hired, but they've begun to grow concerned with just how many black people are working under the Trump economy.

"If you really cared about the cause, you'd quit and become homeless so we could tell everyone how bad Trump's economy is for black people," communist activist Pau Jamm told his only black friend in a Portland coffee shop Wednesday. "You guys are really killing us here with how much you're working."

Some committed progressives are even firing black people in order to show just how bad the economy is for minorities. Austin woman Britney Baila sat down one of her employees, black man Henry Porter, to let him know that he was being fired for his own good. "Listen, you're doing great -- you've been a valued part of this organization for several years now. But you're just not helping the narrative that Trump is harming minority workers."

"Take one for the team, and maybe we'll rehire you when a Democrat gets elected," she added to the perplexed Porter.

Black people who do not quit their jobs are being called "Uncle Toms" and "race traitors."


Babylon Bee subscriber Matt Shepherd contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

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