MALIBU, CA - Organizers of the Transgender Day Of Visibility unveiled an updated pride flag this week at a ceremony in Malibu. After running out of colors in the visible light spectrum, the new pride flag features colors that are only visible with special infrared goggles.
"Human beings are only capable of seeing around a million different colors with the naked eye," said designer Wesley Arturio. "Obviously there's, like, way more than a million different genders and sexual orientations, so we moved to the infrared spectrum, which is about 3,000 times wider than the visible light spectrum."
Members of the transgender community applauded the change to the pride flag. Samantha Romez, who identifies as a poly-unsaturated septgender furry, said it's about time that folks like xiself were represented on the pride flag. "I really feel like infrared light in the 800,000nm wavelength range really brings visibility to who I am as a person," Romez said.
The flag itself is only visible using special goggles, which can be purchased from your local chapter of the LGBTQ alliance or at any Disney theme park or retail store. Profits from the $100 goggles will benefit a variety of transgender-friendly causes, such as more pride parades and installing urinals in women's locker rooms across the country.
At publishing time, event organizers also issued a decree that anyone flying the outdated 13-color version of the pride flag is a hateful bigot who should be canceled immediately.
Judges at a school spelling bee are stumped and infuriated when a child dares to ask them for a definition of the word “woman.”