COLORADO SPRINGS, CO — In a touching display of leadership and solidarity, Biden fell to the ground yesterday in support of LGBTQ rights.
"Taking a knee is not enough anymore," said black gay Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is black and gay. "Yesterday, the President showed us all how to respect the queer community by lying prostrate on the ground before thousands of people. Thanks to his demonstration, transgender 5-year-olds now know they aren't alone."
Biden reportedly made the gesture after giving a speech at the Air Force Academy graduation ceremony. According to sources, he became so deeply moved by his love for the LGBTQ movement that he took a knee--followed by an elbow, a hip, and a face, before finally lying motionless on the stage until Secret Service came to pick him up.
"The gesture was completely on-purpose and in no way an accidental fall by a President who can't really walk anymore," said Jean-Pierre.
"I feel seen!" said Sister Jezabelle of the Enraptured Sling, a board member with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. "Thank you, Mr. Biden!"
At publishing time, sources announced Biden had later performed a faceplant into a light pole in support of Black Lives Matter.
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!