Church Health
Potluck Attendees Suffer Food Poisoning After Latecomer's Casserole Misses Prayer Of Blessing

LAKE CHARLES, LA—A Southern Baptist church was hit with a severe case of food poisoning Sunday afternoon after a casserole was carelessly brought into a potluck after the official prayer of blessing over the food, sources confirmed Monday.

According to witnesses, new church member Jane Bender had run to the store after service to get plates and cups, and returned just moments after the pastor spoke words of blessing over the food. Apparently not realizing the danger she was exposing everyone to, Bender slipped her cheesy chicken dish onto the end of the food table, her unblessed food now indistinguishable from the blessed dishes.

As church members enjoyed fellowshipping with one another, little did they know the unholy chicken casserole was performing its sinister work in their bowels.

By the time someone realized what was going on, it was too late, and a number of church members were reportedly rushed to the hospital in church buses and 15-passenger vans.

“I’m deeply sorry,” Bender told reporters. “I should have known never to serve food that had not been blessed to the consumers’ bodies. I won’t make that mistake again.”

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.