VATICAN CITY — In a move that drew criticism of bias toward his hometown teams, Pope Leo XIV officially canonized the 1996-98 Chicago Bulls.
The legendary NBA championship team that has long been discussed as arguably the greatest of all time received an honor far beyond that of any other sports team, as the pontiff venerated the entire roster.
"It will no longer be ‘Air Jordan,' but ‘Saint Jordan,'" the pope said in his proclamation at the Vatican. "For the truly amazing accomplishments of MJ, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, and the other members of the team, we now enshrine them among the greatest heroes in the annals of the Catholic Church. Blessed be the 1996-98 Bulls."
Though many were caught off guard by the canonization, Vatican insiders said it was a foregone conclusion. "They were a lock for sainthood," one source said. "His Holiness personally attested to witnessing multiple miraculous events performed by this team. Seventy-two regular-season victories, a sweep of the Sonics in the 1996 NBA Finals, the ‘Flue Game' — clear evidence of divine intervention."
Pope Leo confirmed that critics of the decision would face excommunication from the Church. "Pontiff don't play," he told a group of cardinals, according to sources.
Relics from the team — a game-worn pair of Jordan's sneakers, a lock of Rodman's green hair, and Pippen's Gatorade cup — were set to tour parishes worldwide.
At publishing time, the Vatican had confirmed that Pope Leo had also issued a proclamation requiring all Catholic Cubs fans to convert to cheering for the White Sox.
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