NEW YORK, NY—In honor of Father's Day, Planned Parenthood put out a press release reminding the organization's followers that they have been preventing people from becoming fathers for nearly 105 years.
Planned Parenthood spokespersons say the organization is passionate about fatherhood and making sure that men who become fathers have the opportunity to pressure their baby mamas into killing their children.
"We're proud to honor fathers today. Fathers are a large part of what we do here at Planned Parenthood. Well, ending fatherhood, anyway, and making sure that men never become fathers," said a Planned Parenthood spokesperson. "And if they do accidentally become fathers, we can shut that down too. Ask us how!"
The organization is even running specials for Father's Day, with two-for-one abortions being offered all day long.
At publishing time, the organization had issued an apology for implying that only men can have fatherhood prevented and that "both birthing and non-birthing persons can be fathers and also have their non-gender-specific children aborted at any time during pregnancy."