U.S. - After Bernie Sanders made horrific public comments suggesting that abortions could be used to curb the growth of the population in order to combat climate change, Planned Parenthood quickly phoned him up and asked him to stop publicly making a connection between abortion and government population control programs.

While Planned Parenthood has been very much in favor of population control and killing off minorities ever since their founding, their PR strategy is usually to talk about women's rights and women's bodies instead of making that portion of their plan public.

"Bernie, we know you're on our side here and stuff, but we weren't ready to reveal that part of the plan yet," said a Planned Parenthood PR representative. "That's not until Phase 3. So until then, we'd kindly ask that you keep a lid on our dark, sordid past supporting eugenics and population control and the racist beliefs of our founder."

Sanders was deeply apologetic. "Sorry, I didn't get the memo," he said. "Did you send it to my lakehouse or one of the mansions?"