HOMESTEAD, PA—According to sources at Jubilee Presbyterian Church, Reverend Greg Stevens asked the men of his church to please silence their wives before the service began Sunday.
As chatter continued throughout the sanctuary, Stevens gave his customary reminder that the men of the church should be polite and respectful of others by making sure their wives were silenced.
"Please make sure your wives are on silent mode before we get started," he said. "If they have any questions, they can ask you at home. Just click them on over to silent mode so they won't disturb the proceedings, and we'll get the ball rolling here."
The men of the church dutifully reached over and pressed the "silent" button located on their wives' upper backs, and the noise throughout the sanctuary immediately ceased.
"That's a lot better. Now, we can start."
The women were turned back to full volume mode so they could share prayer requests/gossip during the church potluck, of course.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.